Set your coffee grinder to the most coarse setting. For a decent cold brew, you want your coffee to have breadcrumb-like consistency. If you’ve already ordered a bag of fine ground, you’re in for a bad time… or cloudy, grimmy tasting beverage. But hey, each to their own.
Get your jar clean and ready. Jokes aside, a mason jar will legitimately make things easier as you’ll need to cover your coffee mix up overnight. If you prefer to use a normal glass with a makeshift lid, good for you - you’re not a sheep and we fucking salute you.
Put your coffee in the jar and cover it with cold water. You should be aiming for 1:8 coffee to water ratio. If you’re making one large coffee (around 450ml) you’ll need around 25-30g of coffee. If you’re making coffee for the whole village, do the math yourself.
Stir. Be gentle. Like it’s her first time. When the mix gets blended throughout, close the jar and let it steep for about 18 to 24 hours. You can put it in the fridge if that is what your little heart desires, but it doesn’t really matter as you should be serving the final outcome over ice anyways.
HOT TIP: You don’t need to watch the coffee steep. If you chose to, you have too much spare fucking time and you need to start making better life decisions.
Pour your coffee mix over the sieve into a glass or your second jar or whatever container you have around, no one really cares at this point. This step is to get rid off the larger coffee grounds.
Tuck your muslin or a sheet of kitchen roll into the sieve and pour your coffee back into jar one.Repeat a couple of times, until you’re left with a no cloudy residue at the bottom.
Serve over ice cubes with milk, sugar, orphan tears or whatever else tickles your fancy.